The Merton Prayer

O Lord, my God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that my desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this,
You will lead me by the right path
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore, I will trust you always
for you are ever with me and will never leave me.

-- Thomas Merton, OSCO

To Really See Someone

To 'really see' someone, especially someone who looks up to you, is to give that person an important blessing.  In a gaze of recognition, of understanding, in an appreciative look, there is deep blessing.  Often it is not so important that we say much to those for whom we are significant, but it is very important that we see them.  

Good parent see their kids; good teachers see their students; good coaches see their players; good administrators see their faculty and staff.  We are all blessed by being seen.

Today, the young are not being seen enough in this way.  Our youth are acting out in all kinds of ways as a means of getting our attention.  They want to and need to be seen by us -- parents, adults, teachers, coaches, administrators.  They need our blessing.  They need to see right in our eyes, the radical unconditional acceptance of their reality.  Young people need our appreciative gaze; most simply they need our gaze - period.

One of the deepest hungers inside young people is the hunger for adult connection, the desire to be recognized, seen, by a significant adult.  They desperately need, and badly want, the blessing that comes from our gaze and presence.  They need for us to see them.  In the end, more than they want our words, they want our gaze ...

-- Ron Rohlheiser, OMI

On Authenticity

In the first half of adolescence, the task is to fashion a personality — a way of belonging to the human community — one that is both authentic and socially acceptable. This is much easier said than done, especially in our current egocentric, aggressively competitive, materialistic societies. But this accomplishment lays the foundation for all later maturation. 

Becoming authentic means to know who you really are — to know where you stand, what you value, what you desire, what you tolerate and what you don’t — and to be able and willing to act accordingly, most of the time, despite the social risks. Under the best circumstances, this takes several years to accomplish. In the contemporary world, many never succeed. 

But what makes early adolescence even more challenging is the second half of the task in this stage, namely, attaining social acceptability. To be a healthy adolescent, you need to belong to a real community. So the way in which you express your authenticity means everything. You must learn how to be true to yourself in a way that at least some of your peers embrace. 

-- Bill Plotkin